Sex During Parenthood, The Crazy Things We Do For Alone Time

Congratulations, you are a parent. Any good Mom and Dad knows that being a parent is by far the best and most rewarding role of your life, yet also the most challenging. Most of the parenting cliche’s you have heard in your lifetime are quite accurate. For example: “Parenting is the best job in the world” or “I never knew I could love someone so much”, and the ever so popular, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you”. Oh, and then there is one of my all time favorites, “Once you have children, your sex life will be non existent”.

So, allow me to focus on the latter of the clichés. When you are first dating, sex is amazing and most likely a non-stop activity taking place multiple times of day. As the relationship progresses, it usually slows down to a steady three – four times per week. Throw in a pregnancy, and if you are a man, you better be prepared for a dry spell. Now, there is always the exception. I have heard moms say that they couldn’t get enough while pregnant, but don’t get your hopes up…this is definitely NOT the norm. Once that child arrives, be prepared for yet another dry spell. It goes without saying that your child always comes first. Any first time mother to a baby, including myself are often a tad bit neurotic, focusing on their baby 24/7 and extremely high strung. I remember washing Lola’s bottles both before and after they were in the diswasher…I washed so much my knuckles were cracked and bleeding. I know, crazy! Now, once those first four – five months have passed, Mom will have relaxed and most likely will have started becoming “frisky” again. Fast forward a couple of years, and you may have gotten your “groove” back. This is when you need to be creative, very creative. If you have more than one young child, you better be a genius of sorts when it comes to creativity!

Kids are smart, and I mean it, very very smart. It seems as if they have the worst timing and a programmed special kid sensory of sorts, which allows them to disturb you when you don’t want to be. You may be getting busy in the middle of the night, and suddenly hear “Mommy”. Maybe you and Dad were embraced in a passionate kiss, only to have your child demand immediate attention. Whatever the case, private time for parents can be both tricky and very hard to come by. So what are parents to do?

Let’s just say I have had this conversation with quite a few of my “parent” friends, and their solutions were interesting, and many hilarious. Below, I have noted some of the places parents can “get it on” according to my wonderful and mindful group of friends that are currently searching for unique places to “get busy” every day.

  • Car – This one takes me back to high school. It’s easily accessible, and if the kids are distracted by a family member, it’s perfect!
  • Bathroom – This option is the easiest on the list.  Everyone has one, and you can sneak away to take a “shower”.
  • Floor – A good choice if your kid(s) are sprawled out in your bed.
  • Beach – This choice is one for the brave.  I admire my friend (who will remain nameless) for having the nerve to pull this one off.  She suggests parking the baby stroller facing the ocean and having a couple large blankets accessible.  Good luck.
  • Pool/Ocean – If you are blessed to have a backyard pool or are close to the ocean, why not?
  • Airplane – Have you joined the mile high club?  If not, what better time than your next flight.  Just don’t get caught, or it would be highly embarrassing, and possibly illegal these days.
  • Tent – Pop a tent, baby.  Why not go camping in the back yard with the kids?  This will be a great reason for Mom and Dad to have their own tent.
  • Laundry Room – This is multi tasking at it’s best.  Why not wash your clothes while getting some much needed alone time?
  • Closet – A very easy choice, and you can definitely hide well here.
  • Park – This too is for the brave at heart.  But if you can muster up enough courage, have at it.
  • Wooded area – A secluded area, while camping with the kids is a definite option.  I personally am not a camping girl, and would fear being attacked by a bear or crazy machete wielding freak.
  • Bath – Always a very obvious and easy choice.
  • Basement – If you live almost anywhere but Florida, this is a great idea for a “quickie”.
  • Treehouse – My friend that suggested this one has always been a character, yet she swears it is the best private getaway spot.
  • Attic – Head on up to the top of your house for an afternoon delight while the kids are napping.

Wherever your private Mommy & Daddy place is, I am confident it is a creative one. Parents are consistently having to be innovative, not just for their children, yet for themselves and the sake of their relationship.

Make sure to chime in with your favorite places, or the wildest places you have heard of.  You can remain anonymous, just enter a different name in the comment area.  Remember…every parent is always looking for a good idea.  Don’t be selfish, share.

4 thoughts on “Sex During Parenthood, The Crazy Things We Do For Alone Time

  1. All of the options you mentioned are good ideas and my husband and I have tried many of them.Most recently the living room couch has become popular for us. The are napping upstairs while we are downstairs on the couch.

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